Police Jokes

At the start of the shift one of the police officers asks "Did you hear about the terrible head on collision on route 208 between a Thunderbird and a Mustang? There was horse manure and feathers all over the road!"

The Chief came into headquarters a few minutes later. Not being too fast on the uptake, he was asked the same question, followed by the same "Horse manure and feathers all over the road."

"Anybody hurt?" he asked.

Police Jokes

“Didn’t you suspect burglars had been in the house when you saw all the drawers pulled out and the contents scattered all over the floor?” asked the policeman.
“No, I just thought my husband had been looking for a clean shirt,” replied the woman.

Police Jokes

A juggler, driving to his next performance, is stopped by the police.

“What are those knives doing in your car? Asked the officer.

“I use them in my juggling act,” says the juggler.

“Oh yeah?” “Let’s see you do it.” Says the policeman.

So the man starts tossing and juggling the knives.

A guy driving by sees this and says, “Wow, am I glad I stopped

Drinking. Look at the test they’re making you do now!” 

Police Jokes

A man gets pulled over by the police for speeding. The cop walks up to the car and says to the driver, “Sir, did you know that you were going 60 miles an hour?" The driver says, "Officer, there is no way I could have been going 60 miles an hour!" The cop says, “Really! Why is that? The driver replies," I could not have been going 60 miles an hour because I've only been out driving for 25 minutes."

Police Jokes

A policeman spots this Bloke walking up Royal Ave. pulling a 12 foot long rope and asks, “What do you think you are doing pulling this 12 long rope up Royal Ave.?”

The Bloke replied: “have you ever tried pushing it?”

Police Jokes

This guy was pulled over for running a stop sign. When the cop checked the man's driver's license, he said, "You're wearing glasses on your ID and you're not now. I'm going to have to give you a ticket."

The guy said, "Officer, I have contacts."

The cop said, "Look, buddy, I don't care who you know, ... I'm giving you a ticket."