- You're convinced that chirping birds are Satan's pets.
- Trying to gain control of the situation, you continue to tell your room to "stay still."
- Looking at yourself in the mirror induces the same reaction as chugging a glass of fresh paint.
- You'd rather have a pencil jammed up your nose than be exposed to sunlight.
- You set aside an entire morning to spend some quality time with your toilet.
- You replace the traditional praying on your knees with the more feasible praying in a fetal position.
- The bathroom reminds you of a carnival barker shouting, "Step right up and give it whirl!"
- All day long your motto is, "Never again."
- You could purchase a new bike just by recycling the bottles around your bed.
- Your natural response to "Good morning," is "Shut up!"
