Friday, April 24, 2015

#AshuCries on TV

Omg! What am I hearing! Govt to ban glycerin after watching "Aanshu-Tosh" drama!


Director of the movie-"PLANET OF THE APES" has signed this CHIMP for his next movie


- Was it genuine a cry or a crocodile version of the same, Having a hard time Digest your Emotional Outburst

When your girlfriend tells you she's pregnant

When you realise you're still a virgin


In 1996, Kanshi ram slapped him in advance


Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Idiots Jokes

An Antartican suddenly realizes his house is on fire. He immediately dials 9-1-1.

The fireman answers, "Yes may I help you?"

The Antartican replies, "My house is on fire, come quick!!!"

The fireman asks, "How do we get there?"

The Antartican says, "Duh, big red truck!"

Sunday, November 28, 2010

Work Jokes

A newsboy was standing on the corner with a stack of papers, yelling, "Read all about it; Fifty people swindled!" Fifty people swindled! Curios, a man walked over, bought a paper, and said, "Hey kid, this is an old paper, where's the story about the big swindle?" The newsboy ignored him and went on calling out, "read all about it; Fifty-one people swindled!"

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Kids Joke

A little boy knocks at the door and tells the owner that something of his had found its way into her garage, and he wanted it back. The homeowner opened the garage and noticed two additions; a baseball and broken window sporting a baseball-sized hole.

“How do you suppose this ball got in here?” she asked the child. Taking one look at the ball, one look at the window, and one look at the homeowner, the little boy exclaimed, “Wow lady! I must have thrown it right through that hole!”

Kids Joke

A little girl asked her mother, "Can I go outside and play with the boys?" Her mother replied, "No, you can't play with the boys, they're too rough." The little girl thought about it for a few moments and asked, "If I can find a smooth one, can I play with him?"

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Work Jokes

The factory foreman inspected the shipment of crystal vases leaving the plant, and approached his new packer. He put his arm around the man’s shoulder and said,

“Well, Ole, I see you did what I asked. Stamped the top of each box, ‘This Side Up,

Handle With Care.’”

“Yes sir,” the worker replied. “And just to make sure, I stamped it on the bottom too.”

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Entertainment Jokes

A French man nearly got away with stealing a number of paintings from the Louvre.

However, after planning the robbery and getting in and out and past security, he was captured only three blocks away when his Econoline ran out of gas. When asked how he could mastermind such a crime and then make such an obvious error, he replied, "I had no Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh."

Sunday, October 31, 2010

Airplane Jokes

A pilot landed a plane with a rather bumpy landing. As part of his job he was required to stand by the terminal door and say goodbye to the passengers as they exited the airplane. He was afraid that someone might say something about his rather less than perfect landing, but everyone left without saying a word except for one passenger, an elderly lady, she slowly approached the pilot after most passengers had exited the plane and asked, "Did we land? Or were we shot down?"

Monday, October 25, 2010

Kids Joke

A kindergarten pupil told his teacher he’d found a cat, but it was dead. “How do you know that the cat was dead?” she asked her pupil.

“Because I pissed in its ear and it didn’t move,” answered the child innocently.

“You did WHAT?! ?” the teacher exclaimed in surprise.

“You know,” explained the boy, “I leaned over and went ‘Pssst!’ and it didn’t move.”

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Kids Joke

A little boy asked his dad for a dollar to give to a little old lady in the park. His father impress by his son’s kindness, gave him the dollar. “There you are my son,” said the father. “But, tell me, isn’t the little lady able to work any more? “She sells candy” was the boy’s reply.